Lyrics Non-Science

(To the tune of “Stairway to Heaven”)

There’s a hole on the course. It is one of the worst
You’ll encounter at fairway eleven

(To the tune of “Green Acres”)

(Male voice)
450 is the course for me

(To the tune of “The Times They Are A-Changin’")

Come listen up folks in the US of A
Who are seeing the fall slipping

(To the tune of “Carry Me Back to OSU”)

You are a group of BB students
Whom the faculty hold dear

(To the tune of “Red River Valley”)

In Corvallis a lovable mascot
Wonders why he’s the way that he is

(To the tune of “Meet the Flintstones”)

Ring tones
Tiny ringtones

(To the tune of “Ave Maria”)

(The words to the original song are in parentheses to help guide the singing)

(To the tune of “Mother Nature’s Son”)

Due to all the greenhouse gas – warming’s on the rise
All day long CO2 is heating things too much up in the skies

(To the tune of “Smile”)

Tweet
Of the grouse you’re eating

(To the tune of “All My Loving”)

Click your mouse, you’ll regret it
On links for free credit

(To the tune of ‘What’ll I Do?”)

Seems you’ve decided to go for a bite
Now I’m all alone un-a-ttended

(To the tune of “Monday, Monday”)

Na na, na na na na
Na na, na na na na

(To the tune of “Star Spangled Banner”)

I say did you see
Posts on Canvas from me?

Sven hopped in his boat
Didn’t get far. It wouldn’t float

He patched up a hole
Tried it again. Much better then

(To the tune of “Feelin’ Groovy”)

Oh no! I missed my class
Someone ought to kick my ass.

(To the tune of “You Never Give Me Your Money”)

You never gave me the login
For trying out the new demonstration

(to the tune of “Let It Snow”)

Oh the weather outside looks better
You can put away your sweater
And the sun is all bright and fine
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine

(To the tune of “I’ve Just Seen a Face”)

I’ve just changed my face
I didn’t like the shape or place-

(To the tune of “A Horse With No Name”)

On the first day of the quarter
I was reading the syllabus

(To the tune of “Let It Snow”)

So the forecast says much more raining
It’s of this that I’m complaining

(To the tune of “Norwegian Wood”)

I answered 3 ‘b’.  
But then I thought.  It might be ‘c’

(To the tune of “*The Story of Love”)

You better lose your middle
Run a little

(To the tune of “Take Me Home Country Roads”)

Found some heaven
(In) California

(To the tune of “Can’t Buy Me Love”)

Can’t buy enough
Can’t buy enough

(To the tune of “I Am the Walrus”)

It’s not free when corporate glee 
resides in me 

(To the tune of “You Are My Sunshine”)

Tomorrow’s forecast is rather gloomy
It starts with showers and ends with rain

(To the tune of “On Broadway”)

There are a few things you should know ‘bout Audrey
(‘bout Audrey)

(To the tune of “Paperback Writer”)

Paperless Writer
Paperless Writer

(To the tune of “Happy Together”)

It’s such a rainy night, tonight
The radar’s looking very bad

(To the tune of “Yellow Rose of Texas”)

When students on the campus go
Walk near the A-L-S

(To the tune of “Que Sera, Sera”)

When I was out in Washington
There was a waiter

(To the tune of “Oh Christmas Tree”)

Biochemistry Biochemistry_x000B_I wish that I were wiser_x000B_I feel I’m in way o’er my head_x000B_I need a new advisor
My courses really shouldn’t be_x000B_Such metabolic misery_x000B_Biochemistry Biochemistry_x000B_I wish that I were wiser

(To the tune of “She Loves You”)

She likes you meh, meh, meh
She likes you meh, meh, meh

(To the tune of “All You Need is Love”)

Vote Vote Vote
Vote Vote Vote

(To the tune of “Silent Night”)

Silent Spring.  Everything
Changed at once.  Gone, ka-ching

(To the tune of “A Taste of Honey”)

A waste of money
The tale of a brand new touch pad

(To the tune of “I Left My Heart in San Francisco”)

You’ve gone and left me breathless, so especially today
An absence from my body makes it hard to say

(To the tune of “Daydream Believer”)

Oh I get high
From the smoke

(To the tune of “Paper Moon”)

So you’re watching a pay-per-view
Lying lazily in your bed

(To the tune of “Away in a Manger”)

A gay is no danger
To anyone here

(To the tune of “If I Had a Hammer”)

When he bought his Hummer
He revved it in the driveway

(To the tune of “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”)

I ask why - many questions
And so I raise my hand

(To the tune of “She’s Leaving Home”)

Friday evening at eight o’clock
when the shuttle stops

(To the tune of “Penny Lane”)

If you’re working on a project for your thesis and
There are people in the plan, I’ll guarantee

(To the tune of “Getting Better All The Time”)

It’s getting wetter every day
I’m standing outside in a pool (and I must complain)

(To the tune of “Mister Ed”)

A course is a source, of course, of course
Of all of the knowledge that we endorse

(To the tune of “My Way”)

And now, the concert’s done
We were a musical sensation

(To the tune of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”)

Medical marijuana
Something that I just might try

(To the tune of “Battle Hymn of the Republic”)

The wisdom we have brought today’s a song that is our first
Please forgive us if it’s rough because it’s really unrehearsed

(To the tune of “Wabash Cannonball”)

The Pauling Science Center
Will do a lot of good

(To the tune of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”)

It’s time to get clean
You need to comply

(To the tune of “Happy Days are Here Again”)

Crappy days are here again
The sky above’s not clear again

(To the tune of “On Blueberry Hill”)

You took a spill
Out on Vineyard Hill

(To the tune of “Killing Me Softly with His Song”)

Customer comes to the counter
Orders a soy-based latté

(To the tune of “My Very Good Friend”)

I know wonderful guys within our land
Whose love some folks don’t understand

(To the tune of “The End of the World”)

Why are these pathways so daunting?
When do the enzymes work best?

(To the tune of “Joy to the World”)

Students rejoice.
The end is near_x000B_For bi-o-chem-is-try

(To the tune of Neal Gladstone’s “There is a Grapefruit In Your Life”)

There is a virus on the loose
That has sucked out all the pleasure

(To the tune of “I Saw Her Again Last Night”)

I studied so hard last night
But you know that I couldn’t

(To the tune of “The Sound of Silence”)

Hello darkness my old friend
Standard time is back again

(To the tune of “Theme Song from The Beverly Hillbillies”)

You’ve gotta hear the story of the Inuit named Thad
A boat and a gun were the only things he had

(To the tune of “Honey Pie”)

He was an honest chap
Harvard M-B-A

(To the tune of “King of Pain”)

There’s some rainfall impacting against my cheek
It’s the way it’s been going for the past two weeks

(To the tune of “My Valentine”)

I went outside
To have a smoke

(To the tune of “In My Life”)

There are things you should remember
When you’re stud-y-ing for this exam

(To the tune of “The Way You Look Tonight”)

Monday. Feeling like a whale
Staring at the scale

(To the tune of “Coke®. It’s the Real Thing”)

I’d like to teach my students ‘bout
some biochemistry

(To the tune of “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away”)

Once again
Fourth and ten

The devil did his level best
To make a horrid place where
No one would wanna be left
Without as much as a prayer

When you’re in a funk
And really craving some junk
You always head out to
Wal-Mart

(To the tune of “Sweet Baby James”)

(Optional words in parentheses)

(To the tune of “Yellow Rose of Texas”)

The term is almost at an end
Ten weeks since it began

(To the tune of “Daydream Believer”)

Oh I get high. Such a grin
Every time the Beavers win

(To the tune of “She Came In Through the Bathroom Window”)

They’re pillaging financial markets
Protected by their golden chutes

(To the tune of “Desperado”)

Umatilla.
Aloha, Sandy and Bridgeport

(To the tune of “My Way”)

And now . . . the day is here;
You have to face . . . . the big pronouncement

(To the tune of “Within You, Without You”)

You are eating
A mountain of po-ta-toes

(To the tune of “Dixie”)

I am mixing up a pile of rotten
That’s how compost is begotten

(To the tune of “Leavin’ on a Jet Plane”)

Tray table’s down. I want a snack
The steward brings it in a sack

(To the tune of “I Will”)

Who knows how long I’ll be here
I think I need a pill

(To the tune of “Strangers in the Night”)

(Published in the MockingOwl Roost -
https://www.mockingowlroost.com/blog/2022/07/16/the-mockingowl-roost-trader-joes-tonight/)

(To the tune of “Oh Danny Boy”)

Oh Daddy dear,
This is my biochemistry

(To the tune of “Baby It’s You”)

Sha la la la la la la la
Sha la la la la la la la

(To the tune of “Nowhere Man”)

He’s a real no-hair man
Wishing he had more hair, man

(To the tune of “I’ve Just Seen a Face”)

I can’t charge my cell
I think the battery’s gone to hell

(To the tune of “Carry Me Back to OSU”)

Within the city of Corvallis
Is the school of OSU

(To the tune of “I Should Have Known Better”)

I . . . . should have studied harder when I had the chance
Instead of just drinking beer at the dance

(To the tune of “It Never Rains in Southern California”)

In a lot beside a crater . . . . . by the MU
Was a truck that was attached to . . . . . something huge

(To the tune of “Maria” from West Side Story)

Viagra
The most mind-blowing stuff I’ve ever used

(To the tune of “It’s Too Late”)

Chewed an ibuprofen just to kill the pain
My jaw hurts badly

(To the tune of “Alfie”)

You just took an-other Selfie
That poor i-Phone is almost worn out

(To the tune of “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”)

Grandma got infected by that virus
Cuz they opened up her state too soon

(To the tune of “I’ll Be Home For Christmas”)

I’ll be thin at Christmas
If I drop twelve pounds

(To the tune of “With a Little Help From My Friends”)

What would you do if I threw up on you?
Would you really be angry at me?

(To the tune of “My Way”)

And now, the course is done
Except for all that final testing

(To the tune of “The Long and Winding Road”)

Turn off that damn cell phone
‘Cause we’re in a - quiet zone

(To the tune of “Winter Wonderland”)

Milam Hall - It’s 12:30
And Ahern’s gettin’ wordy

(To the tune of “Happy Days Are Here Again”)

Happy days are here for all
Thank the SCOTUS five for standing tall

(To the tune of “Hello Little Girl”)

We’re screwing the world
We’re screwing the world

(To the tune of “Breaking Up is Hard to Do”)

Snore, dreamy, snooze, yawn yawn
comma comma snore, dreamy, snooze, yawn yawn

(To the tune of “The Times They Are A-Changin’ ”)

Come listen up folks in the US of A
Who may notice that winter is going away

(To the tune of “Help!”)

Yelp!
I’m feeling lonely

(To the tune of “Over the Rainbow”)

Way down under the ocean
Manta rays

(To the tune of “Alone Again Naturally”)

A crisis is about to blow
With the bankers holding all the dough

(To the tune of “Cheek to Cheek”)

Fracking
Exxon’s cracking

(To the tune of “Take Me Home, Country Roads”)

Early morning
In the bedroom

(To the tune of “You’re Gonna Lose That Girl”)

You’ve gotta lost that gut
(You’ve gotta lose that gut)

(To the tune of “Every Breath You Take”)

Every thing you say.
Every price you pay

(To the tune of “My Guy”)

There’s nothing I know
That sets me aglow like VooDoo

(To the tune of “Here, There, and Everywhere”)

It falls out from his head
Littering everything there

(To the tune of “Born Free”)

Porn free!
This offer in email

(To the tune of “When You Wish Upon a Star”)

If you drive a monster car
Going near or going far

(to the tune of “White Christmas”)

I’m screaming ‘bout a wet Christmas
It happens almost every year
When the skies are gray out

(To the tune of “Thank God I’m a Country Boy”)

There’s a bundle of things that a student oughta know
And Ahern’s talk isn’t really very slow

(To the tune of “Day Tripper”)

Got a good reason
For going and eating out

(To the tune of “If I Fell”)

When my LDLs are high
And the doc is saying I