The Earl Grey delivery service flies through the air with the greatest of teas
Missing Pieces
The assemble it yourself Apple car is called iKia
See a random verse: Limericks | Lyrics Science | Lyrics Non-Science | Silly | Silly Long
The assemble it yourself Apple car is called iKia
After she got him a Lawn Boy, he loved her mower
Classical music at Starbucks = Tchaikoffee
A marijuana investor is a spender in the grass
Until you have kids, that’s a pre-exhausting condition
My father’s brother who drinks too much is my druncle
If Disney made War and Peace, they would call it Tolstory
She’s a forest queen to others, but a big Miss Tree to me
The Houston guy who chases out evil spirits is a Texorcist
I put my phone on vibrate to get text massages
Sunrise in London produces English li
I went to a metric urologist and centipeed into a cup.
Jokes about fake butter are margarinal
Woodstock had a bunch of hippie campers
Charmin is a hind sanitizer
Music videos are full of JLo shots
Cheese makers work around about whey
Toilet paper makers consider the end user
The fattest place in America? Obecity
What’s another word for ‘thesaurus?’
Where are the inskirts of town?
Canada isn’t real. It’s only mapleleaf
Deer are clearly misnamed
Small black birds have crowing pains
Jelly filling is a good roll middle
I like hot dogs so much I relish them
My rabbit stew has a hare in it
Everything is relative, but relatives aren’t everything
Traveling lawyers buy suevenirs
All men are cremated equal
When you anthropomorphize pets, they hate it
When I don’t know what to buy at the store, I’m listless
Maids are weapons of muss destruction
Taking a break from salad is a Romaine Holiday
A calendar’s days are numbered
High humidity provides a lot of mist opportunities
Editors have rewording careers
The Head of Military Police is the Searchin’ General
Hangovers are brewed awakenings
Chronic fibbers have liabetes
I’m done with arranging my hair, combpletely
For Catholics, wine is the opiate of their masses
Slogan for new STD vaccine: “Make Love, Not Warts”
In my new job making chess sets, I’m on knights next week
Old ladies who never marry, but like word play are spunsters
Knotification – one step in making a tree
For some, marijuana treatments are a medi-sin
A creepy Pokeman will Pikachu showering
Electronic Scandinavian health service = Swede Care Online
The smaller seesaw is the petiter totter
The old grouch likes antisocial media
The Mt. Rushmore sculptor was a George Washington Carver
The sneaky virus Covid its tracks
Halal bread is from the middle yeast
Minnows sound a little fishy to me
Disney clothing = Upparel
Staying in the same old rut is good if you’re a street car
Marijuana smoking pigeons have high coos
Balloons hate pop music
The streaker gave his friend a bare hug
Two volcanologists fell in lava with each other
The Restafarian’s hairstyle is something to be dreaded
Isn’t ‘fast food’ an oxymoron?
Ghosts wear ghoulashes
Hot Dog Shop Name – Mustard’s Last Stand
Headline – Seattle Odor Linked to Boeing Noise
Subtext – Pew Jet Sound
The yoga center has positions available
Headline – Exxon Involved in African Oil Spill
Subtext – Seeping Slickness
Depressing is what comes after delaundry
Don’t like how they operate? Time to change surgeons
The hair dye shortage will make America grayed again
Flags have been raised, according to pole watchers
An eclipse is a difficult phase the moon is going through
People who worship paper bags are sack religious
Inuit Valentine – “I only have ice for you”
With avian disease, it’s the early worm that gets the bird
My overweight cat is a tubby
Swashbuckling insects – The Three Mosquiteers
Socrates didn’t do so well with the Hemlock Maneuver
The new zoo exhibit is turtley awesome
Great donut shop name – Amazing Glaze
When the deaf and blind fight, senseless violence occurs
He didn’t make it to the casino because he didn’t have the Vegas idea
Vacation bills remind you to cut down on suites
Big noses run in my family
New hospital drama – “Sicks in the City”
If the guy who anticipated modern computing saw modern computing, he’d be Turing in his grave
Tolkien’s writing was hobbit forming
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat
Cheap beer is Nickelob
Money is the loot of all evil
Quadruplets are four crying out loud
When James Bond bathes, he’s bubble 07
My work as a phlebotomist is a part time jab
Bjorn Borg impersonators are artificial Swedeners
A mobile hamburger joint is a porta-patty
A Mexican ghost is “No Weigh, Jose”
Equine veterinarians work in horsepitals
Kama Sutra corporation is now hiring for all positions
Pat Sajak and spouse are renewing their vowels
Dear John letters show that absence makes the heart go yonder
Humiduty – what a device that controls air moisture has
Ancient Trojans were a condom nation
Too much fishing causes cirrhosis of the river
You invited me to South America, but I don’t Bolivia
A carjacker is a pirate of the Car I Be In
The new play called “Teflon” doesn’t have any frictional characters
When it comes to pandemics, we’ve got that COVID
High humidity provides a lot of mist opportunities
Autocorrect is my biggest enema
Opera is my aria of expertise
Prison is a word and also a sentence
Electric German cars are Volts Wagons
Do-it-yourself electronics store – Ohm Depot
For thunderstorms, lightning is a flash in the plan
Two appliances make your clothes shrink – dryers and refrigerators
My cow’s phone has a mooed ring
Samuel Morse dashed off many letters
A good horror film has cringe benefits
In the cruise business, ship happens
Great name for an eyedrop – Moist Your Eyes
Coffee plantation workers are grounds keepers
Plants have all the anthers
Is a person who’s a below average bore interesting?
People afraid of change are very vary wary
For Hamlet’s cough, the doctor asked “TB or not TB?”
Workaholics are missing inaction
The story teller’s shortcomings were Aesop’s foibles
The greatest scientist was a Pauling
People trade corn futures on the stalk market
An Adam’s apple is the neck’s big thing
No monsters are good at math unless you Count Dracula
The aardvark leads the annual list of animals list
Puncil – what I use to write funnies
Hollywood is the land of reel estate
Atheists have no invisible means of support
When blood cells marry, they get many coagulations
For sale: 2020 planner – never used
Dracula was a red blood cell Count
Thoughtless people – what won’t they think of next
When I dream of pasta, I cannoli imagine
A closed mouth gathers no foot
Dancing cheek to cheek is floor play
Odd New Mexicans live in Albaquirky
Power stealers are joule thieves
Stubborn old people go to resisted living
Copyrights are statutes of imitations
Tobacco chewers make a lot of spit stops
After the coffin accident there was a rehearsal
Headline – Geology Group Plans Research Trip
Subtext – Sedimental Journey
Headline – Mudslide Hits Nebraska Home
Subtext – Little Prairie on the House
The ocean is hard to fathom
He had a name that looked like an eye chart
The Cat Channel is pay, purr, view
In LA, beachgoers do SoCal distancing
HIV in the ocean causes mermaids
Walmart greeters have Howdy duties
Mathematicians communicate through sine language.
Saliva is a word that rolls off the tongue
He’s so inarticulate, he lost a fight with his mother tongue
Kids on merry-go-rounds remind us that wee are the whirled
Headline – Revlon Creates Feb. 14 Makeup
Subtext – St. Valentine’s Day Mascara
Great line – “I miss you like an idiot misses the point”
A citrus a day is a lemon pledge
Meteorologists experience thunder and enlightning
Weight Watchers’ mantra – Fat Chants
Headline – Food Science Dept. Fails Audit
Subtext – No Accounting for Taste
Thugs are people who quit working for good
What to give someone who has everything – Omnipresents
The Spanish word for cat should be ‘purrito’
Old lovers are very romantique
Ghosts in the market for real estate go house haunting
Isn’t “Rocky Mountains” redundant?
Seamstresses have sewnar
Spamish flu is caused by junk email
Multi-story shopping malls are sell towers
The outer space boundary is the margin of air
Rich Japanese are billyenaires
When asked why my flooring business failed, I said it was futile
Biblical fortune tellers are Psalm readers
I used to be afraid of getting stoned, but now I’m boulder
Chocoholics are cocoa nuts
When the doc said my prostate was healthy, I was deeply touched
Gardening lawyers favor justice of the peas
The guy who said ‘rupee’ was talking non-cents
For parents, because is a word to the whys
If air travel drops further, we’ll have The Flying None
My photo fell. I now have an image to keep up
Jimmy Hoffa’s murder won’t be solved without concrete evidence
With butterflies, fluttery will get you everywhere
Ironing cowboy shirts – howdy pressing
Santa keeps clothes in his Clauset
Used watch stores carry second hand goods
That web site for free chickens is just cluck bait
The Queen of the Nile liked to show some leg, but Nefertiti
I Concord my fear of grapes
The thickness of my book is a long story
Placebo based trials are basically “trick or treatment”
A poor economy is one way to close the Gap
You have a right to be stupid. Don’t abuse the privilege
The Earl Grey delivery service flies through the air with the greatest of teas
The formula for holy water – H2OMG
A three-foot aardvark is a yardvark
The medium Pepsi bottle was the Liter Of The Pack
In Turkey, they have Istanboolian logic
At the pizzeria, the best cutters are given the Piece Prize
Minnows sound a little fishy to me
Musically, the Big Bang began with Beatle haircuts