Prose Silly

Today we went to Portland on the train and learned a couple of things. First, there’s the Albany train station. You get a bit of history stepping into it - like being in a world of 100 years ago.

“Welcome to the Registration Department. Please say to our automatic teller what brings you to us today.”

Setting - Busy Restaurant. Seated inside - man and woman, arguing. Two males walk in, one tall, one short, and get seated.

Are you tired of high grocery bills $$$$ week after week?

Mr. Delver Clinthorpe, recently of Blind Auspices, MT . . .

Gus “Elbow” Cunningham of Smoking Forest, ID expressed frustration at being caught in his third Catch-22 . . .

Modern pedestrians must carry a cell phone and be engaged solely with it to the exclusion of input from the rest of the world whenever they are crossing a busy intersection

A Hallmark card
Meets a guy in a bar
They sit and drink

Jason Outcast of Gut Feeling, MS, who recently placed last in the Wrenching County spelling bee . . .

I never had a girlfriend until I was in my twenties, though it wasn’t for lack of wanting one. I simply didn’t know how the game was played.

Citing her state’s new 10% surcharge on intimate apparel, local woman Sandy Shoreleaves complained to reporters Wednesday about budget struggles.

Welcome to Microshaft Word 21.0, the most advanced word processing system in the world.

Dear Batman:

How are you today? I’m still fine.

Semi-professional astronomer, Dingle Wicklow, at the university observatory . . .

Meanwhile, at a large bowl-shaped venue out of doors, another group of men, different from the one yesterday, engaged in a different activity with a somewhat different inflatable object.

Have you ever felt like you’re in a Monty Python skit? This actually happened to me recently.

I have several friends struggling currently on diets, so this is dedicated to all of them.

Grendel Windcraft (pronounced Jane Johnson), spokesperson for the Copley Hike and Bike Rent-a-Bike Shop . . .

According to the National Highway Safety Council, pedestrians lack many important safety features

Drummer for local heavy metal rock band, Poison Needle, Eldon Dremel, who recently moved to the Century 21 Apartment complex . . .

Local hairdresser and spinster, Miss Beatrice Fellmont, who has never previously been in the limelight . . .

Local thespian, Della Splen, who recently received solid reviews for her portrayal of Ella Freddle . . .

Things were going according to plan
Reggie told Diane
She was the only girl
In the world for him

Dear Batman:

How was your day? I just wanted to write and let you know I appreciate you stopping crime at night, but then I got to wondering about all the crime that goes on in the day.

ach day, I jog along a road with gently rolling hills that goes east of our village of Drapanos into the countryside.

Saskatchewan chicken entrepreneur, Sven Meltrap, runner-up last week in Canada’s Duck Calling With the Stars competition in Random Foot, Manitoba . . .

Mrs. Lucocci has lived
in her house for 40 years
and every day, Mrs. Lucocci
gets out her broom

In sports today, the Washington Potatoes defeated the Arizona Desert by scoring more points.

“. . . . and your son, Mrs. Frankentsein.”
buzzbuzzbuzz
“Yes, yes. The doctor.”

Greetings from the South Pacific!  Hope all is well in Iowa.  Got here yesterday afternoon and I’m just getting settled in.

We just got a big shipment and have a wide selection of new (and quality used) holes . . .

Dear Batman:

I was wondering about secret identities, like yours.

She sits on a riding lawn mower, the sun shining on her wind-mussed, streaked golden hair. One hand clutches the steering wheel, the other, a cell phone.

Dear Batman:

I’m glad to hear your wife (Claire) is OK.

“You Are Here”

Great idea for a themed restaurant with strong name recognition.  Unfortunately, mall map makers balked

So God goes to his doctor
Cuz he’s been feeling chest pain
Too many responsibilities
Have caught up with him

Scio, OR, May 7
A truckload of Las Vegas-bound dice missing since April 20 has been found, according to a spokesman for Republic Gaming.

Expressing optimism upon locating a job after half a year of unemployment, Preston Overshorts . . .

Dear Universe:

How are you? I’ve been meaning to write to you for a long time (for me, not you!), but I’ve been very busy (my boss) . . .

Scientists studying back- ground radio signals formed during creation of matter in the universe recently refined the signal and fed it through an amplifier.

Speaking candidly about being jilted by his girlfriend of over two months, Coors Beer drinker Elden Frell . . .

Three-time loser, Delman Orker, currently residing in Whispering Bottom, MI,

Cast of Characters

Gloria Pillwock - Small town girl seeking to make it anonymously in the big city

Esperanto was created by Polish ophthalmologist L.

You sit
Office-bound
Shuffling memos
Greeting people

1. Do Not Panic:
People get run over by trucks all the time

Dear Batman:

How are you?  I am fine.

This year marks over four decades since the assassination of John Lennon and I thought it would be timely to have a conversation with him.

Some poets
Write prose
And then arrange the words
Vertically.

Dear Batman:

Thanks for answering my last letter.

I grew up in a tiny town called Fowler, Illinois, which, on a big day, had a population of 200 people and just about as many dogs and cats.

Dear Batman:

It’s great having a superhero to write to.

Where there’s smoke, there’s a fryer
A miss is as good as a smile
You can’t teach an old dog new treks

David Copperfield was happy
To finally get out of his novel
Adjusting to life in the 2020s
Without too much difficulty

Filcher Widdle, proprietor and 51% owner of back yard niche construction company . . .

A third ball-related event took place in another bowl shaped outdoor public observing area.

Dear Batman:

Thanks for replying to my letter.

Alpole Widdle, son of Terrence and Lydia (Neeck) Widdle of 311 SW Pecker . . .

An atom can’t think.

But, incredibly, over time spanning billions of years, collections of atoms reacted to form molecules

Po-tato - a spud
No-tato - absence of spuds
Ono-tato - what you say when you discover you have no-tato

Local white guy, Randy Carbonhogger, found himself recently on the horns of a personal dilemma . . .

Where you from?
Juneau
Know what?
“Juneau Alaska”
“Sure.

Joshua Twitlow, eldest son of Dremble Twitlow, founder of Twitlow Farm Supply . . .

Do you know your ABCs as well as you think you do?

Popular high school PE teacher, Morris Fitzhall, of Katie Perky High School . . .

Apparently when you get COVID, you lose your sense of taste and smell.

Mrs. Alice Bredwell (nee Gelbard) of 811 Jersey Street, Furbin Cakes, CA . . .

“You Are Here”
Great idea for a themed restaurant with strong name recognition. Unfortunately, mall map makers balked at putting the business name on their maps.

Pansy Mudflaps, a pig belonging to Mr. Winslow Pressureunit . . . .

Aspiring meteorologist Bethany Mildow indicated on Wednesday she is moving full force forward with her career plans.

OMG, our house is on fire. 

I know this is one of those times most people get stressed out WAAY beyond belief with panic . .

As the marriage of Edwin and Glinda (Sparks) Muffletone teeters closer to failing . . .

(a disguised poem follows)

People often tell me.

Local Nincompoop Wishes
Christmas Wasn’t on Thursday

Stedly Glumlow, funeral director for the Heavenly Haven funeral home in Moving Lips, AL

We arrived safely in India yesterday after approximately 48 hours of flying. Actually, most of that time was spent in airports, but I digress.

Peter Windinhole, master gardener and sole proprietor of north Skukum County’s Plant Parenthood Nursery and Gardening Center,

Carberd Grelmik, CEO and President of “We Dig It” digging company . . .

TIME FOR BED
TOO MUCH OF THE DAY
IN MY HEAD
AND I KNOW TOO WELL
THE WORLD’S GOING TO HELL

Howie Oglemore, husband of Stella (Actite) Oglemore of Three Finks, FL, briefed reporters about a recent argument at home.

Elberta Windchime, sole heir to the massive Windchime fortune who recently moved to Jumping Roach, OH . . .

I tried to tell you how I felt
and you went off rambling
in some weird-ass direction,

Little Jimmy in school today
Learned how to make babies
“First you take the ‘y’ off”
“And then replace it with ‘ies’”

After an argument last night with her husband, Sten, Mrs. Clarida Seasoning of Point Blank, NY . . .

My wife is not tall enough
That is not said in a negative way
Nor meant to imply that

We went to a garden shop/nursery today and had a great time. In fact, if you were to sum up the pleasure of my wife and I had at the garden store and divided it by two, you’d see an extraordinary amount of pleasure . . .

I haven’t set up a Christmas tree in many years, but one of the last ones I had I’ll never forget, thanks to my unusual mother.