Prose Silly

Dear Mrs. Batman

We arrived safely in India yesterday after approximately 48 hours of flying. Actually, most of that time was spent in airports, but I digress.

Po-tato - a spud
No-tato - absence of spuds
Ono-tato - what you say when you discover you have no-tato

I have several friends struggling currently on diets, so this is dedicated to all of them.

Dear Batman:

Thanks for replying to my letter.

Modern pedestrians must carry a cell phone and be engaged solely with it to the exclusion of input from the rest of the world whenever they are crossing a busy intersection

A Hallmark card
Meets a guy in a bar
They sit and drink

OMG, our house is on fire. 

I know this is one of those times most people get stressed out WAAY beyond belief with panic . .

(a disguised poem follows)

People often tell me.

I never had a girlfriend until I was in my twenties, though it wasn’t for lack of wanting one. I simply didn’t know how the game was played.

An atom can’t think.

But, incredibly, over time spanning billions of years, collections of atoms reacted to form molecules

Dear Batman:

I was wondering about secret identities, like yours.

Dear Batman:

How are you today? I’m still fine.

Apparently when you get COVID, you lose your sense of taste and smell.

TIME FOR BED
TOO MUCH OF THE DAY
IN MY HEAD
AND I KNOW TOO WELL
THE WORLD’S GOING TO HELL

Citing her state’s new 10% surcharge on intimate apparel, local woman Sandy Shoreleaves complained to reporters Wednesday about budget struggles.

This year marks over four decades since the assassination of John Lennon and I thought it would be timely to have a conversation with him.

Are you tired of high grocery bills $$$$ week after week?

Saskatchewan chicken entrepreneur, Sven Meltrap, runner-up last week in Canada’s Duck Calling With the Stars competition in Random Foot, Manitoba . . .

We just got a big shipment and have a wide selection of new (and quality used) holes . . .

You sit
Office-bound
Shuffling memos
Greeting people

Things were going according to plan
Reggie told Diane
She was the only girl
In the world for him

Scio, OR, May 7
A truckload of Las Vegas-bound dice missing since April 20 has been found, according to a spokesman for Republic Gaming.

ach day, I jog along a road with gently rolling hills that goes east of our village of Drapanos into the countryside.

Welcome to Microshaft Word 21.0, the most advanced word processing system in the world.

I tried to tell you how I felt
and you went off rambling
in some weird-ass direction,

David Copperfield was happy
To finally get out of his novel
Adjusting to life in the 2020s
Without too much difficulty

Popular high school PE teacher, Morris Fitzhall, of Katie Perky High School . . .

Some poets
Write prose
And then arrange the words
Vertically.

Setting - Busy Restaurant. Seated inside - man and woman, arguing. Two males walk in, one tall, one short, and get seated.

Have you ever felt like you’re in a Monty Python skit? This actually happened to me recently.

She sits on a riding lawn mower, the sun shining on her wind-mussed, streaked golden hair. One hand clutches the steering wheel, the other, a cell phone.

“Welcome to the Registration Department. Please say to our automatic teller what brings you to us today.”

A third ball-related event took place in another bowl shaped outdoor public observing area.

Dear Universe:

How are you? I’ve been meaning to write to you for a long time (for me, not you!), but I’ve been very busy (my boss) . . .

Dear Batman:

It’s great having a superhero to write to.

We went to a garden shop/nursery today and had a great time. In fact, if you were to sum up the pleasure of my wife and I had at the garden store and divided it by two, you’d see an extraordinary amount of pleasure . . .

Meanwhile, at a large bowl-shaped venue out of doors, another group of men, different from the one yesterday, engaged in a different activity with a somewhat different inflatable object.

Dear Batman:

How are you?  I am fine.

In sports today, the Washington Potatoes defeated the Arizona Desert by scoring more points.

So God goes to his doctor
Cuz he’s been feeling chest pain
Too many responsibilities
Have caught up with him

Greetings from the South Pacific!  Hope all is well in Iowa.  Got here yesterday afternoon and I’m just getting settled in.

“. . . . and your son, Mrs. Frankentsein.”
buzzbuzzbuzz
“Yes, yes. The doctor.”

Dear Batman:

How was your day? I just wanted to write and let you know I appreciate you stopping crime at night, but then I got to wondering about all the crime that goes on in the day.

Today we went to Portland on the train and learned a couple of things. First, there’s the Albany train station. You get a bit of history stepping into it - like being in a world of 100 years ago.

Little Jimmy in school today
Learned how to make babies
“First you take the ‘y’ off”
“And then replace it with ‘ies’”

I haven’t set up a Christmas tree in many years, but one of the last ones I had I’ll never forget, thanks to my unusual mother.

Esperanto was created by Polish ophthalmologist L.

“You Are Here”

Great idea for a themed restaurant with strong name recognition.  Unfortunately, mall map makers balked

According to the National Highway Safety Council, pedestrians lack many important safety features

At the City Civic Arena today, a group of very tall men bounced a large inflatable ball and hoisted it towards a hoop situated about 10 feet off of the floor

“Poetry book of the year!!” - Time
“Takes verse to new levels!!” - NYT

Local Nincompoop Wishes
Christmas Wasn’t on Thursday

Cast of Characters

Gloria Pillwock - Small town girl seeking to make it anonymously in the big city

Mrs. Alice Bredwell (nee Gelbard) of 811 Jersey Street, Furbin Cakes, CA . . .

Mrs. Lucocci has lived
in her house for 40 years
and every day, Mrs. Lucocci
gets out her broom

I grew up in a tiny town called Fowler, Illinois, which, on a big day, had a population of 200 people and just about as many dogs and cats.

Dear Batman:

Thanks for answering my last letter.

The children’s classic lullaby, “Rockabye Baby on the Treetop,” has, in its lifetime, achieved almost universal acceptance, but no significant analysis has been made of its lyrics since its inception.

Where you from?
Juneau
Know what?
“Juneau Alaska”
“Sure.

“You Are Here”
Great idea for a themed restaurant with strong name recognition. Unfortunately, mall map makers balked at putting the business name on their maps.

Do you know your ABCs as well as you think you do?

Scientists studying back- ground radio signals formed during creation of matter in the universe recently refined the signal and fed it through an amplifier.