(on turning 70)

The time is here
This much I know
There’s no avoiding
The big seven oh

It’s a personal zen
Sort of a thing
When people become aware
Of everything

Like our kidneys and livers
And thyroids and stomachs
And that expanding beer gut
On you, you big lummox

The heart starts beating randomly
You can predict the weather with your joints
And while you sat there reading this,
Your blood pressure’s up a couple of points

You start looking backwards
From where you are
Cuz looking forwards
You don’t see far

And I’m not talking about
Your eyesight here
Although that’s also
Not so clear

There’s failing hips
And aching backs
It’s harder to read
Thanks to cataracts

But there’s more to the age
Than aches and pains
For example, there’s all
That wisdom you’ve gained

So some people now think
You must be smart
Til you open your mouth
And they know – “Old Fart”

Which means it is true
You now spew vile things
From both ends of your anatomy

But more to the point
You’ve sure learned plenty
Since you knew it all
When you were twenty

And the big things then
Like clothes and car
Didn’t actually get you
Very far

Instead, hard work
And lots of pluck
Combined with planning
And a bit of luck

Turned you into this thing
You are today
A seventy year old fossil
With things to say

And since I have
Your attention here
I’ll share my thoughts
Loud and clear

Yes, I am old
And stuck in my ways
But you won’t hear me complaining
About “kids these days”

Cuz it’s not at all easy
Being a modern day kid
Their paths ahead
Are harder than anything I did

The money’s disappeared
Leaving behind the ignominy
Of jobs for servants
In a service economy

And speaking of money, it once was cash
Then plastic cards reigned supreme
Now up and coming is crypto
Can you say, “Ponzi Scheme?”

For every problem, there’s a pill
Like losing weight or gaining hair
Or making that old thing
Work down there

Another big one on the list
Is very woeful
It’s what people refer to
As media, social

Yes, yes, I hear you
With it people stay in touch
But simultaneously,
They don’t see each other as much

Cuz they’re too busy tweeting
Selfies from home
Then awaiting the response
Staring at a phone

Social media
It’s sad but true
Isn’t really social
It’s just about you

OK, that’s enough of this rant
Sorry for the time I took
Gotta run now
And post it on Facebook