Two and a half centuries
May seem to be quite old
But in history, as countries go
It’s really not, I’m told

Pre-1800
The raucous Boston Tea Party
Went over as some had feared
The British came at us in droves
But fortunately, Paul Revered

The Patriots conquered everyone
Who dared to wear a Redcoat
And as a reward for the win they’d scored,
White guys gave themselves the vote

1800 – 1900
We headed westward seeking gold

Fought summers hot and winters cold

We fought each other, everyone
But Lincoln kept us all as one

Then, after escaping self-destruction
A tattered process of reconstruction
The 13th amendment – slavery’s antidote
Began the struggle for black guys to vote

1900 – 1950
Except for Teddy Roosevelt
The century started boring
But in the span of twenty years
It totally was roaring

Prohibition, speakeasies and Al Capone
Babe Ruth, Mae West, plus the telephone
Electricity and automobiles, technologies of note
And women and Native Americans finally got to vote

America’s might soon got unfurled
With victories in wars around the world
Then peace at last! A joy to behold!
But alas, the start of a long War Cold

1950 – 1970
Radios gave way to televisions
And cities gained subdivisions
American cars proliferated
As roads became more inter-stated

And although we stood up to the Redcoats
Way back at Valley Forge
We succumbed to the British invasion
Of John, Paul, Ringo and George

Shepard, Conrad, Grissom, Glenn
Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo men
Embodied brave, adventurous might
Each made of stuff that was right

In the Summer of Love, the hippie clan
Stretched minds with dreamy tunes
And before anyone could say “wow man”
Neil and Buzz were on the moon

1970 – 1980
Meanwhile, on Earth, student protests
About a war remote
Erupted on college campuses
And 18 year olds got the vote

The man who said he “wasn’t a crook”
Soon found himself upon the hook
Watergate left an ugly scar
And Ford got the keys to the car

Meanwhile, all across the world
Our foes as well as friends
Standardized their units
With systems based on tens

Americans responded curiously
Declaring, quote unquote
“We won the metric battle,”
Clutching a two-liter Coke

1980 – 2000
Reagan owned the 80s
With Bush, a strong duet
Then Clinton had Al Gore,
Who invented the Internet

Globalization began in earnest
Encroaching, self-reinforcing
As Ross Perot tried his durndest
To put a lid on outsourcing

MTV set videos
To music for the youth
And Superman began to fret
Disappearing phone booths

Meanwhile, we edged closer
To millennial succession
And “Y2K or Not 2K”
That was the question

2000 – 2026
Jobs resurrected Apple
Very close to its post-mortem
By making “must-have” products
Each with an ‘i’ before ‘em

Today, appliances are getting smart
And more-so every day
But when I try to use them
Ignorance gets in the way

We’ve made intelligence artificial
And sequenced the human genome
On Facebook, my 500 friends
Share dinner pix on phones

Some say America’s finest days
Have gotten left behind
Along with Earhart and Hoffa –
Two that come to mind

And ironically, in our history
We’ve expanded the vote all-out
Now it’s become a modern sport
For making families shout

But, let’s have a picnic, raise a toast
To a quarter of a millennium
Because it’ll be a very long time
Until we can do it againium