When you’re in a funk
And really craving some junk
You always head out to
Wal-Mart
Lyrics Non-Science
Dieter’s Song
(To the tune of “*The Story of Love”)
You better lose your middle
Run a little
A Loan Again, Naturally
(To the tune of “Alone Again Naturally”)
A crisis is about to blow
With the bankers holding all the dough
Crappy Days are Here Again
(To the tune of “Happy Days are Here Again”)
Crappy days are here again
The sky above’s not clear again
Maybe I’ll Sue
(To the tune of “Baby It’s You”)
Sha la la la la la la la
Sha la la la la la la la
Month of Rain
(To the tune of “King of Pain”)
There’s some rainfall impacting against my cheek
It’s the way it’s been going for the past two weeks
I’ve Just Changed my Face
(To the tune of “I’ve Just Seen a Face”)
I’ve just changed my face
I didn’t like the shape or place-
Blueberry Fields Forever
(To the tune of “Strawberry Fields Forever”)
Near Corvallis town
All the farmers sow
Pay Per View
(To the tune of “Paper Moon”)
So you’re watching a pay-per-view
Lying lazily in your bed
Out on Vineyard Hill
(To the tune of “On Blueberry Hill”)
You took a spill
Out on Vineyard Hill
Happy Days are Here for All
(To the tune of “Happy Days Are Here Again”)
Happy days are here for all
Thank the SCOTUS five for standing tall
With a Little Hemp From My Friends
(To the tune of “With a Little Help From My Friends”)
What would you do if I threw up on you?
Would you really be angry at me?
Grandma Got Infected by That Virus
(To the tune of “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”)
Grandma got infected by that virus
Cuz they opened up her state too soon
They Are Watching You
(To the tune of “Every Breath You Take”)
Every thing you say.
Every price you pay
Biochemistry, Biochemistry
(To the tune of “Oh Christmas Tree”)
Biochemistry Biochemistry_x000B_I wish that I were wiser_x000B_I feel I’m in way o’er my head_x000B_I need a new advisor
My courses really shouldn’t be_x000B_Such metabolic misery_x000B_Biochemistry Biochemistry_x000B_I wish that I were wiser
His Hair is Everywhere
(To the tune of “Here, There, and Everywhere”)
It falls out from his head
Littering everything there
A Waste of Money
(To the tune of “A Taste of Honey”)
A waste of money
The tale of a brand new touch pad
Thank God There’s a Video
(To the tune of “Thank God I’m a Country Boy”)
There’s a bundle of things that a student oughta know
And Ahern’s talk isn’t really very slow
Student Nightmares
(To the tune of “Norwegian Wood”)
I answered 3 ‘b’.
But then I thought. It might be ‘c’
Sad Story of Thad
(To the tune of “Theme Song from The Beverly Hillbillies”)
You’ve gotta hear the story of the Inuit named Thad
A boat and a gun were the only things he had
Wet Christmas
(to the tune of “White Christmas”)
I’m screaming ‘bout a wet Christmas
It happens almost every year
When the skies are gray out
I’m at the Walmart
(To the tune of “I Am the Walrus”)
It’s not free when corporate glee
resides in me
Oh the Times They Are a Changin’ (Standard Time)
(To the tune of “The Times They Are A-Changin’")
Come listen up folks in the US of A
Who are seeing the fall slipping
Let It Shine
(to the tune of “Let It Snow”)
Oh the weather outside looks better
You can put away your sweater
And the sun is all bright and fine
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine
What’ll I Chew? – the Puppy Song
(To the tune of ‘What’ll I Do?”)
Seems you’ve decided to go for a bite
Now I’m all alone un-a-ttended
Where is the Sunshine?
(To the tune of “You Are My Sunshine”)
Tomorrow’s forecast is rather gloomy
It starts with showers and ends with rain
You’ve Gotta Lose That Gut
(To the tune of “You’re Gonna Lose That Girl”)
You’ve gotta lost that gut
(You’ve gotta lose that gut)
Mother Nature’s Done
(To the tune of “Mother Nature’s Son”)
Due to all the greenhouse gas – warming’s on the rise
All day long CO2 is heating things too much up in the skies
A Course With No Aim
(To the tune of “A Horse With No Name”)
On the first day of the quarter
I was reading the syllabus
They’re Pillaging Financial Markets
(To the tune of “She Came In Through the Bathroom Window”)
They’re pillaging financial markets
Protected by their golden chutes
She’s Staying Home
(To the tune of “She’s Leaving Home”)
Friday evening at eight o’clock
when the shuttle stops
The End of the Term
(To the tune of “The End of the World”)
Why are these pathways so daunting?
When do the enzymes work best?
I Lost a Lung
(To the tune of “I Left My Heart in San Francisco”)
You’ve gone and left me breathless, so especially today
An absence from my body makes it hard to say
Under the Rainbow
(To the tune of “Over the Rainbow”)
Sum-mer time in the valley
Cloud-y skies
Learning Innovation Center
(To the tune of “Yellow Rose of Texas”)
When students on the campus go
Walk near the A-L-S
Make It Stop
(To the tune of “Let It Snow”)
So the forecast says much more raining
It’s of this that I’m complaining
For Audrey
(To the tune of “On Broadway”)
There are a few things you should know ‘bout Audrey
(‘bout Audrey)
I Studied So Hard Last Night
(To the tune of “I Saw Her Again Last Night”)
I studied so hard last night
But you know that I couldn’t
Mellow Woes of Testing
(To the tune of “Yellow Rose of Texas”)
The term is almost at an end
Ten weeks since it began
She Likes You
(To the tune of “She Loves You”)
She likes you meh, meh, meh
She likes you meh, meh, meh
No Hair Man
(To the tune of “Nowhere Man”)
He’s a real no-hair man
Wishing he had more hair, man
Coastal Aquarium
(To the tune of “Age of Aquarius”)
At the coast, there is a special place
For everyone to watch the fish
At Dairy Queen
(To the tune of “At Seventeen”)
I saw the light at Dairy Queen
While eating cho-co-late ice cream
There is a Virus on the Loose
(To the tune of Neal Gladstone’s “There is a Grapefruit In Your Life”)
There is a virus on the loose
That has sucked out all the pleasure
Let It Rain
(To the tune of “Let It Snow”)
Oh the Oregon weather’s dowdy
‘Cause the sky is mostly cloudy
Turn Off That Damn Cell Phone
(To the tune of “The Long and Winding Road”)
Turn off that damn cell phone
‘Cause we’re in a - quiet zone
You Never Gave Me the Login
(To the tune of “You Never Give Me Your Money”)
You never gave me the login
For trying out the new demonstration
Singer Song
(To the tune of “Ave Maria”)
(The words to the original song are in parentheses to help guide the singing)
Online Movie
(To the tune of “Feelin’ Groovy”)
Oh no! I missed my class
Someone ought to kick my ass.
It’s a Toothache, Baby
(To the tune of “It’s Too Late”)
Chewed an ibuprofen just to kill the pain
My jaw hurts badly
If You Drive a Monster Car
(To the tune of “When You Wish Upon a Star”)
If you drive a monster car
Going near or going far
BB Alma Mater Song
(To the tune of “Carry Me Back to OSU”)
You are a group of BB students
Whom the faculty hold dear
All My Junk Mail
(To the tune of “All My Loving”)
Click your mouse, you’ll regret it
On links for free credit
Trader Joe’s Tonight
(To the tune of “Strangers in the Night”)
(Published in the MockingOwl Roost -
https://www.mockingowlroost.com/blog/2022/07/16/the-mockingowl-roost-trader-joes-tonight/)
Composting Song
(To the tune of “Dixie”)
I am mixing up a pile of rotten
That’s how compost is begotten
New Teacher Song
(To the tune of “Battle Hymn of the Republic”)
The wisdom we have brought today’s a song that is our first
Please forgive us if it’s rough because it’s really unrehearsed
Distance Ed
(To the tune of “Mister Ed”)
A course is a source, of course, of course
Of all of the knowledge that we endorse
I Can’t Charge my Cell
(To the tune of “I’ve Just Seen a Face”)
I can’t charge my cell
I think the battery’s gone to hell
Anthem of the Ginseng and Tonics
(To the tune of “My Way”)
And now, the concert’s done
We were a musical sensation
The Crappiest Weather
(To the tune of “Happy Together”)
It’s such a rainy night, tonight
The radar’s looking very bad
You’re Turning 50
(To the tune of “My Way”)
And now . . . the day is here;
You have to face . . . . the big pronouncement
Bad Instructor’s Anthem
(To the tune of “Star Spangled Banner”)
I say did you see
Posts on Canvas from me?
OSU Crane Song
(To the tune of “It Never Rains in Southern California”)
In a lot beside a crater . . . . . by the MU
Was a truck that was attached to . . . . . something huge
Heavin’ on a Jet Plane
(To the tune of “Leavin’ on a Jet Plane”)
Tray table’s down. I want a snack
The steward brings it in a sack
The Time It Is a Changin’
(To the tune of “The Times They Are A-Changin’ ”)
Come listen up folks in the US of A
Who may notice that winter is going away
BB Wonderland
(To the tune of “Winter Wonderland”)
Milam Hall - It’s 12:30
And Ahern’s gettin’ wordy
Voodoo Donuts
(To the tune of “My Guy”)
There’s nothing I know
That sets me aglow like VooDoo
Students Rejoice
(To the tune of “Joy to the World”)
Students rejoice.
The end is near_x000B_For bi-o-chem-is-try
In Walla Walla
(To the tune of “Que Sera, Sera”)
When I was out in Washington
There was a waiter
The Thin You, The Fat You
(To the tune of “Within You, Without You”)
You are eating
A mountain of po-ta-toes
I’ll Be Thin at Christmas
(To the tune of “I’ll Be Home For Christmas”)
I’ll be thin at Christmas
If I drop twelve pounds
We’re Screwing the World
(To the tune of “Hello Little Girl”)
We’re screwing the world
We’re screwing the world
Beaver Believer
(To the tune of “Daydream Believer”)
Oh I get high. Such a grin
Every time the Beavers win
I Wanna Understand
(To the tune of “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”)
I ask why - many questions
And so I raise my hand
Sani-Cloth is Cleaning Up Town
(To the tune of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”)
It’s time to get clean
You need to comply
A Hardees Night
(To the tune of “A Hard Day’s Night”)
It is a Hardees night
And I just ate a chili dog
(Give Us) Real Things
(To the tune of “Coke®. It’s the Real Thing”)
I’d like to teach my students ‘bout
some biochemistry
Fairway Eleven
(To the tune of “Stairway to Heaven”)
There’s a hole on the course. It is one of the worst
You’ll encounter at fairway eleven
Wakin’ Up is Hard to Do
(To the tune of “Breaking Up is Hard to Do”)
Snore, dreamy, snooze, yawn yawn
comma comma snore, dreamy, snooze, yawn yawn
OSU Alma Mater Song Revised
(To the tune of “Carry Me Back to OSU”)
Within the city of Corvallis
Is the school of OSU
Brewin’ the Coffee at Starbucks
(To the tune of “Killing Me Softly with His Song”)
Customer comes to the counter
Orders a soy-based latté
I Should Have Studied Harder
(To the tune of “I Should Have Known Better”)
I . . . . should have studied harder when I had the chance
Instead of just drinking beer at the dance
An Inequality
(To the tune of “My Very Good Friend”)
I know wonderful guys within our land
Whose love some folks don’t understand
All My Junk Mail
(To the tune of “All My Loving”)
Click your mouse, you’ll regret it
On links for free credit
Benny Beaver Genome Song
(To the tune of “Red River Valley”)
In Corvallis a lovable mascot
Wonders why he’s the way that he is
Getting Wetter Every Day
(To the tune of “Getting Better All The Time”)
It’s getting wetter every day
I’m standing outside in a pool (and I must complain)
The Light of Darkness
(To the tune of “The Sound of Silence”)
Hello darkness my old friend
Standard time is back again
All We Need are Votes
(To the tune of “All You Need is Love”)
Vote Vote Vote
Vote Vote Vote
Medical Marijuana
(To the tune of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”)
Medical marijuana
Something that I just might try
At the Coast, Oregon’s Fine All the Year
(To the tune of “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”)
At the coast, Oregon’s fine all the year
There are beaches a-glistening.
A Norwegian Would
Sven hopped in his boat
Didn’t get far. It wouldn’t float
He patched up a hole
Tried it again. Much better then
Silent Spring
(To the tune of “Silent Night”)
Silent Spring. Everything
Changed at once. Gone, ka-ching
Sub-prime Loan
(To the tune of “Take Me Home Country Roads”)
Found some heaven
(In) California
We’ve Got to Punt the Ball Away
(To the tune of “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away”)
Once again
Fourth and ten
The Weight I Gained Last Week
(To the tune of “The Way You Look Tonight”)
Monday. Feeling like a whale
Staring at the scale
Things You Should Remember
(To the tune of “In My Life”)
There are things you should remember
When you’re stud-y-ing for this exam
It Won’t Be Hell ‘Til You Get There
The devil did his level best
To make a horrid place where
No one would wanna be left
Without as much as a prayer
Wal-Mart
A Norwegian Would
Sven hopped in his boat
Didn’t get far. It wouldn’t float
He patched up a hole
Tried it again. Much better then
Let It Shine
(to the tune of “Let It Snow”)
Oh the weather outside looks better
You can put away your sweater
And the sun is all bright and fine
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine
It Won’t Be Hell ‘Til You Get There
The devil did his level best
To make a horrid place where
No one would wanna be left
Without as much as a prayer
Wet Christmas
(to the tune of “White Christmas”)
I’m screaming ‘bout a wet Christmas
It happens almost every year
When the skies are gray out
Oh the Times They Are a Changin’ (Standard Time)
(To the tune of “The Times They Are A-Changin’”)
Come listen up folks in the US of A
Who are seeing the fall slipping
Yelp!
(To the tune of “Help!”)
Yelp!
I’m feeling lonely
You Never Gave Me the Login
(To the tune of “You Never Give Me Your Money”)
You never gave me the login
For trying out the new demonstration