Prose Silly

Filcher Widdle, proprietor and 51% owner of back yard niche construction company . . .

Dear Batman:

I was wondering about secret identities, like yours.

1. Do Not Panic:
People get run over by trucks all the time

Local thespian, Della Splen, who recently received solid reviews for her portrayal of Ella Freddle . . .

So God goes to his doctor
Cuz he’s been feeling chest pain
Too many responsibilities
Have caught up with him

Joshua Twitlow, eldest son of Dremble Twitlow, founder of Twitlow Farm Supply . . .

Pansy Mudflaps, a pig belonging to Mr. Winslow Pressureunit . . . .

An atom can’t think.

But, incredibly, over time spanning billions of years, collections of atoms reacted to form molecules

TIME FOR BED
TOO MUCH OF THE DAY
IN MY HEAD
AND I KNOW TOO WELL
THE WORLD’S GOING TO HELL

Dear Batman:

I’m glad to hear your wife (Claire) is OK.

Grendel Windcraft (pronounced Jane Johnson), spokesperson for the Copley Hike and Bike Rent-a-Bike Shop . . .

Dear Universe:

How are you? I’ve been meaning to write to you for a long time (for me, not you!), but I’ve been very busy (my boss) . . .

Dear Batman:

It’s great having a superhero to write to.

Gus “Elbow” Cunningham of Smoking Forest, ID expressed frustration at being caught in his third Catch-22 . . .

(a disguised poem follows)

People often tell me.

Some poets
Write prose
And then arrange the words
Vertically.

In sports today, the Washington Potatoes defeated the Arizona Desert by scoring more points.

Local Nincompoop Wishes
Christmas Wasn’t on Thursday

Carberd Grelmik, CEO and President of “We Dig It” digging company . . .

Are you tired of high grocery bills $$$$ week after week?

I have several friends struggling currently on diets, so this is dedicated to all of them.

Little Jimmy in school today
Learned how to make babies
“First you take the ‘y’ off”
“And then replace it with ‘ies’”

Saskatchewan chicken entrepreneur, Sven Meltrap, runner-up last week in Canada’s Duck Calling With the Stars competition in Random Foot, Manitoba . . .

Local white guy, Randy Carbonhogger, found himself recently on the horns of a personal dilemma . . .

“. . . . and your son, Mrs. Frankentsein.”
buzzbuzzbuzz
“Yes, yes. The doctor.”

Setting - Busy Restaurant. Seated inside - man and woman, arguing. Two males walk in, one tall, one short, and get seated.

Have you ever felt like you’re in a Monty Python skit? This actually happened to me recently.

I never had a girlfriend until I was in my twenties, though it wasn’t for lack of wanting one. I simply didn’t know how the game was played.

Aspiring meteorologist Bethany Mildow indicated on Wednesday she is moving full force forward with her career plans.

Drummer for local heavy metal rock band, Poison Needle, Eldon Dremel, who recently moved to the Century 21 Apartment complex . . .

I tried to tell you how I felt
and you went off rambling
in some weird-ass direction,

Peter Windinhole, master gardener and sole proprietor of north Skukum County’s Plant Parenthood Nursery and Gardening Center,

Where you from?
Juneau
Know what?
“Juneau Alaska”
“Sure.

Stedly Glumlow, funeral director for the Heavenly Haven funeral home in Moving Lips, AL

I haven’t set up a Christmas tree in many years, but one of the last ones I had I’ll never forget, thanks to my unusual mother.

Expressing optimism upon locating a job after half a year of unemployment, Preston Overshorts . . .

Elberta Windchime, sole heir to the massive Windchime fortune who recently moved to Jumping Roach, OH . . .

She sits on a riding lawn mower, the sun shining on her wind-mussed, streaked golden hair. One hand clutches the steering wheel, the other, a cell phone.

I grew up in a tiny town called Fowler, Illinois, which, on a big day, had a population of 200 people and just about as many dogs and cats.

Popular high school PE teacher, Morris Fitzhall, of Katie Perky High School . . .

We just got a big shipment and have a wide selection of new (and quality used) holes . . .

David Copperfield was happy
To finally get out of his novel
Adjusting to life in the 2020s
Without too much difficulty

You sit
Office-bound
Shuffling memos
Greeting people

“Poetry book of the year!!” - Time
“Takes verse to new levels!!” - NYT

Jason Outcast of Gut Feeling, MS, who recently placed last in the Wrenching County spelling bee . . .

A third ball-related event took place in another bowl shaped outdoor public observing area.

Dear Batman:

Thanks for replying to my letter.

Local hairdresser and spinster, Miss Beatrice Fellmont, who has never previously been in the limelight . . .

Citing her state’s new 10% surcharge on intimate apparel, local woman Sandy Shoreleaves complained to reporters Wednesday about budget struggles.

As the marriage of Edwin and Glinda (Sparks) Muffletone teeters closer to failing . . .

Scientists studying back- ground radio signals formed during creation of matter in the universe recently refined the signal and fed it through an amplifier.

Mrs. Lucocci has lived
in her house for 40 years
and every day, Mrs. Lucocci
gets out her broom

Today we went to Portland on the train and learned a couple of things. First, there’s the Albany train station. You get a bit of history stepping into it - like being in a world of 100 years ago.

We arrived safely in India yesterday after approximately 48 hours of flying. Actually, most of that time was spent in airports, but I digress.

“You Are Here”
Great idea for a themed restaurant with strong name recognition. Unfortunately, mall map makers balked at putting the business name on their maps.

Dear Batman:

How are you?  I am fine.

According to the National Highway Safety Council, pedestrians lack many important safety features

Esperanto was created by Polish ophthalmologist L.

Dear Batman:

How are you today? I’m still fine.

Modern pedestrians must carry a cell phone and be engaged solely with it to the exclusion of input from the rest of the world whenever they are crossing a busy intersection

A Hallmark card
Meets a guy in a bar
They sit and drink

My wife is not tall enough
That is not said in a negative way
Nor meant to imply that

OMG, our house is on fire. 

I know this is one of those times most people get stressed out WAAY beyond belief with panic . .

Three-time loser, Delman Orker, currently residing in Whispering Bottom, MI,

Scio, OR, May 7
A truckload of Las Vegas-bound dice missing since April 20 has been found, according to a spokesman for Republic Gaming.

“Welcome to the Registration Department. Please say to our automatic teller what brings you to us today.”

Mrs. Alice Bredwell (nee Gelbard) of 811 Jersey Street, Furbin Cakes, CA . . .

“You Are Here”

Great idea for a themed restaurant with strong name recognition.  Unfortunately, mall map makers balked

After an argument last night with her husband, Sten, Mrs. Clarida Seasoning of Point Blank, NY . . .

Meanwhile, at a large bowl-shaped venue out of doors, another group of men, different from the one yesterday, engaged in a different activity with a somewhat different inflatable object.

Apparently when you get COVID, you lose your sense of taste and smell.

Howie Oglemore, husband of Stella (Actite) Oglemore of Three Finks, FL, briefed reporters about a recent argument at home.

Greetings from the South Pacific!  Hope all is well in Iowa.  Got here yesterday afternoon and I’m just getting settled in.

Where there’s smoke, there’s a fryer
A miss is as good as a smile
You can’t teach an old dog new treks

At the City Civic Arena today, a group of very tall men bounced a large inflatable ball and hoisted it towards a hoop situated about 10 feet off of the floor

ach day, I jog along a road with gently rolling hills that goes east of our village of Drapanos into the countryside.

This year marks over four decades since the assassination of John Lennon and I thought it would be timely to have a conversation with him.

Things were going according to plan
Reggie told Diane
She was the only girl
In the world for him

We went to a garden shop/nursery today and had a great time. In fact, if you were to sum up the pleasure of my wife and I had at the garden store and divided it by two, you’d see an extraordinary amount of pleasure . . .

Dear Batman:

Thanks for answering my last letter.

Dear Mrs. Batman

Semi-professional astronomer, Dingle Wicklow, at the university observatory . . .

Welcome to Microshaft Word 21.0, the most advanced word processing system in the world.

Cast of Characters

Gloria Pillwock - Small town girl seeking to make it anonymously in the big city

Dear Batman:

How was your day? I just wanted to write and let you know I appreciate you stopping crime at night, but then I got to wondering about all the crime that goes on in the day.