Prose Silly

Striding into her Wells Fargo in East Rollingarrs, NM, to close out her checking account, Glidda Winload . . .

Hoping to build on the Grodville Lutheran Church’s wildly successful live Christmas nativity scene in December, Delwin Renk, Pastor of the church . . .

Po-tato - a spud
No-tato - absence of spuds
Ono-tato - what you say when you discover you have no-tato

Gus “Elbow” Cunningham of Smoking Forest, ID expressed frustration at being caught in his third Catch-22 . . .

Pansy Mudflaps, a pig belonging to Mr. Winslow Pressureunit . . . .

Esperanto was created by Polish ophthalmologist L.

Local hairdresser and spinster, Miss Beatrice Fellmont, who has never previously been in the limelight . . .

Filcher Widdle, proprietor and 51% owner of back yard niche construction company . . .

Buoyed by results of a surprisingly strong Internet IQ test, recent high school graduate, Greta Glurston . . .

Miss Survilla Ween is a reporter for the New York Times who traveled to Sea World on February 11th to write a story about dolphins . . .

Longtime lingerie shop employee, Donna Debris, of Sweat Bridge, MS . . .

Drummer for local heavy metal rock band, Poison Needle, Eldon Dremel, who recently moved to the Century 21 Apartment complex . . .

As the marriage of Edwin and Glinda (Sparks) Muffletone teeters closer to failing . . .

Apparently when you get COVID, you lose your sense of taste and smell.

Recent financial setbacks hitting popular local newscaster, Leroy Camembert of KESF radio . . .

My wife is not tall enough
That is not said in a negative way
Nor meant to imply that

Local thespian, Della Splen, who recently received solid reviews for her portrayal of Ella Freddle . . .

Struggling orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Gerber Splintock, will be moving his practice . . .

In sports today, the Washington Potatoes defeated the Arizona Desert by scoring more points.

Local fireman, Eddy Middlesap of Anglo Sexton, IL, best known for numerous animal rescues . . .

(a disguised poem follows)

People often tell me.

Scientists studying back- ground radio signals formed during creation of matter in the universe recently refined the signal and fed it through an amplifier.

Gerard and Millie Underbelt of Screaming Gulch, NV returned to their home Friday . . .

Domino’s delivery driver Therman Redlamp, of Collarbone, WV, was en route with a large pepperoni-and-pineapple pie for Mrs. Joy Almondcluster . . .

“Welcome to the Registration Department. Please say to our automatic teller what brings you to us today.”

Modern pedestrians must carry a cell phone and be engaged solely with it to the exclusion of input from the rest of the world whenever they are crossing a busy intersection

After an argument last night with her husband, Sten, Mrs. Clarida Seasoning of Point Blank, NY . . .

Aspiring meteorologist Bethany Mildow indicated on Wednesday she is moving full force forward with her career plans.

Champion speed eater, Reg Beltfarm, released from 300 hours of court-ordered community service on Friday . . .

Detectives from the Alaska Bureau of Investigation, called to investigate a string of thefts . .

Peter Windinhole, master gardener and sole proprietor of north Skukum County’s Plant Parenthood Nursery and Gardening Center,

Scio, OR, May 7
A truckload of Las Vegas-bound dice missing since April 20 has been found, according to a spokesman for Republic Gaming.

Undeterred by a report from her doctor that husband Stanley is “as sterile as a Petri dish,” local woman Selma Turban . . .

Mr. Delver Clinthorpe, recently of Blind Auspices, MT . . .

Grendel Windcraft (pronounced Jane Johnson), spokesperson for the Copley Hike and Bike Rent-a-Bike Shop . . .

Some poets
Write prose
And then arrange the words
Vertically.

Expressing optimism upon locating a job after half a year of unemployment, Preston Overshorts . . .

Stedly Glumlow, funeral director for the Heavenly Haven funeral home in Moving Lips, AL

Semi-professional astronomer, Dingle Wicklow, at the university observatory . . .

World renowned archeologist, Sid Elmworth of West Gladys, NJ, announced last week the surprising discovery in Northern Newfoundland, Canada . . .

Welcome to Microshaft Word 21.0, the most advanced word processing system in the world.

Have you ever felt like you’re in a Monty Python skit? This actually happened to me recently.

Jason Outcast of Gut Feeling, MS, who recently placed last in the Wrenching County spelling bee . . .

Are you tired of high grocery bills $$$$ week after week?

Citing her state’s new 10% surcharge on intimate apparel, local woman Sandy Shoreleaves complained to reporters Wednesday about budget struggles.

Joshua Twitlow, eldest son of Dremble Twitlow, founder of Twitlow Farm Supply . . .

Reporters in Gordon Blue, CA expressed puzzlement Wednesday at the press release . . .

Mrs. Alice Bredwell (nee Gelbard) of 811 Jersey Street, Furbin Cakes, CA . . .

I haven’t set up a Christmas tree in many years, but one of the last ones I had I’ll never forget, thanks to my unusual mother.

Carberd Grelmik, CEO and President of “We Dig It” digging company . . .

Speaking candidly about being jilted by his girlfriend of over two months, Coors Beer drinker Elden Frell . . .

You sit
Office-bound
Shuffling memos
Greeting people

According to the National Highway Safety Council, pedestrians lack many important safety features

Saskatchewan chicken entrepreneur, Sven Meltrap, runner-up last week in Canada’s Duck Calling With the Stars competition in Random Foot, Manitoba . . .

We went to a garden shop/nursery today and had a great time. In fact, if you were to sum up the pleasure of my wife and I had at the garden store and divided it by two, you’d see an extraordinary amount of pleasure . . .

As her brother-in-law, Silas Cholera of Stifled Urge, Wyoming, repeated the phrase . . .

Elberta Windchime, sole heir to the massive Windchime fortune who recently moved to Jumping Roach, OH . . .

Local white guy, Randy Carbonhogger, found himself recently on the horns of a personal dilemma . . .

Three-time loser, Delman Orker, currently residing in Whispering Bottom, MI,

Where there’s smoke, there’s a fryer
A miss is as good as a smile
You can’t teach an old dog new treks

Howie Oglemore, husband of Stella (Actite) Oglemore of Three Finks, FL, briefed reporters about a recent argument at home.

Little Jimmy in school today
Learned how to make babies
“First you take the ‘y’ off”
“And then replace it with ‘ies’”

Dear Universe:

How are you? I’ve been meaning to write to you for a long time (for me, not you!), but I’ve been very busy (my boss) . . .

Alpole Widdle, son of Terrence and Lydia (Neeck) Widdle of 311 SW Pecker . . .

Where you from?
Juneau
Know what?
“Juneau Alaska”
“Sure.

Local man, You’re Not Going to Like This Name, Jr., formerly of Captain Crutch, Kansas . . .

Local talent agency, Tomorrow’s Stars, announced that Gary von Fester of Pokus Forks, ID is the most recent winner of the company’s annual Talent Search . . .