Besides being mostly hot and a popular vacation month, August isn’t really known for much. The end of vacay time is on its horizon, which means the start of the school year is approaching, an event typically viewed oppositely by parents and their children. In the West, it’s a time of wildfires, events viewed oppositely by seasonal firefighters and homeowners. Christmas is also inching ever closer, an event viewed oppositely by advertisers and the rest of the world – only 116 shopping days til Xmas at the start the month.
So August is really hot and dull with a lot of opposites and come to think of it, ‘hot’ and ‘dull’ are opposites as well, if we’re talking about bedtime clothing, sex symbols, and inspirational speakers, but not knives, solar power, or jalapeño peppers and don’t even think about stolen property. You’re wondering about stolen property now, aren’t you?
The month of August does have the best meteor shower of the year, the Perseids. The best time to see the Perseids is after midnight. The waxing moon will bring a fair amount of light to the sky, which makes for poorer viewing, unfortunately. And last, although it technically isn’t astronomical, the amount of press it got was – August 24 is officially known as “Pluto Got Demoted Day.”
Besides being a month, august (written lowercase) is an adjective, meaning respected and impressive. One could, for example say that “August was august” or “August was August” and have two different meanings. You could also say “It was an august August.” And if you were speaking to someone named August, you could say “It was an august August, August”. If it was a windy month, you might say to your friend named August, “It was an august, August, August. A gust of wind blew all month.” If you were surprised by said wind, you might say, “It was an august August, August. Aghast, a gust of wind blew all month.”
And, speaking of first names, August was the actual first name of the person more commonly called “Anheuser Busch.” He, of course, is the person who built one of several U.S.-based empires dedicated to serving beer drinkers who not only want a beer that is “Less Filling,” but also “Tastes Meh.”. August Anheuser Busch also owned the St. Louis Cardinals. His name and the baseball connection may bring to mind the term “Bush League,” but there is, as they say in the reporting biz, no relation.
As we close the door on this, the hardest of all months to write something funny about, let us not forget August is national breastfeeding month, national eye exam month, and national immunization awareness month. I collapse in a creative heap.
0 Comments