I’m sick and tired of whiney poems
And the whinier poets who write them
But I want the genre to march on
Despite them
You won’t be the same, we’re always told
And your life you must remake
But those broken heart cliches are old
You need other organs to break
I’d vote for your spleen
Like a large lymph gland
I’ll help you to develop this theme
By writing something grand
“Oh why oh why did you leave me”
“The saddest thing I’ve seen”
“It hurt me bad, believe me”
“All the way down to my spleen”
And instead of having
Your heart be stolen
Describe it relative
To your colon
“Since you have left”
“I’m going nuts”
“I feel bereft”
“Inside my guts”
“And inside there”
“Much out of sight”
“Is where I get”
“The shit I write”
Please, please, no need for thanks
It’s the least I can do, old chap
I got inspiration for writing this
From reading all your crap
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