You might think this is not the month to be a Scrooge, but perhaps it is. If you’re a Scrooge in January, saying “Bah! Humbug” is kind of silly, unless, of course, you’re tired of the New Year or the Martin Luther King holiday. In either of those fits you, you’ve got a problem (and you’re a grouch). No, if you’re going to be a Scrooge, December is the PERFECT month for it because by the time the month rolls around, most people know EXACTLY where Scrooge is coming from and, if they could, they’d invite him to dinner. They’re tired of Thanksgiving leftovers, coming up with gift ideas, office holiday parties, wrapping paper, and songs that go “pah rum pum pum pum.”
Now maybe that’s bit negative. Christmas also has mistletoe, sleigh rides, people happily singing “Let it Snow,” flying reindeer, and a jolly old guy who lives at the north pole and leaves once a year to deliver toys to children all over the world. The only problem is that those are all fantasies, you know. Think hard – when was the last time you roasted a chestnut on an open fire?
While Christmas may be a fantasy, the bills that accompany it are very real. So, wait – let’s see – fantasy, big bills. . . . Gadzooks! Christmas is an annual trip to Disneyland, except it involves cutting trees, hanging tinsel, and is harder to avoid.
OK, OK. I keep trying to find something nice to say about the season and I’m struggling. There are at least two other omnipresent fixtures of December (that’s what I want in my stocking this year – omnipresents). The first nice things are the after Christmas sales because (of course!) there weren’t enough before-Christmas sales to sell everything the stores stocked up on, so they now must unload everything they have in order to make room for the giant January sales right around the corner (of course again!).
Second is the sneakiest holiday of the year – New Year’s Day, which technically occurs in January (very sneaky), but it’s close enough for a writer struggling to find something good to say about December. New Year’s Day really should be upsetting – it’s a reminder that we’re getting older. It occurs during one of the darkest times of the year. It carries with it the “luggage” of the evening before it. It is the first day of those pesky resolutions we are ABSOLUTELY going to keep this time. And yet, in spite of all those reasons not to like it, the entire world revels in its arrival the night before every single year. If Christmas had the PR agent that New Year’s Day has, no one would think of Scrooge. Ah, well, a holiday can dream, can’t it. Happy 2023 to everyone.
PS: One last thing. I’ve decided to declare December as National No National Day, Week, or Month Celebration. You’re welcome
0 Comments