Whereas the party of the first part
And the party of the second
Had a major disagreement
That neither of them reckoned
They brought their nasty arguments
To a local circuit judge
Because upon this matter
Neither one would budge
The judge said, “It’s unusual”
“For me to be involved”
“But I will do the best I can”
“To get this matter solved”
There were ugly allegations
And motions left and right
With proceedings running well into
The middle of the night
After hearing testimony
And motions duly filed,
The judge reviewed the evidence
And sighed, but barely smiled
“Whereas party one and party two”
“Each claims the other’s wrong,”
“The court here finds that both of you”
“Are to blame for carrying on”
“Therefore be it recorded, noted,”
“Entered, stamped, and signed”
“This case is dumb, this court is done,”
“You’ve wasted everyone’s time”
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