No Heart Feelings

Speaking candidly about being jilted by his girlfriend of over two months, Coors Beer drinker Elden Frell, youngest son of John and Joyce Frell of Blister Park, Maine, stated from his stool in the “Crusty Inn Watering Hole” in Poison Freckle, WV that he wishes nothing but the best for her moving forward. “I hope she gets everything that’s coming to her,” he said, clutching a napkin with a depiction of a crane holding a 20 ton weight with downward pointing spikes held only by a miniscule cable.