Oxymorons

Oxymorons everywhere
They really are absurd
Described in verses here below
In each one’s final words

I don’t think I’m the first to notice
And will not be the last
But how can something that occurred
Be in the RECENT PAST?

Now if you ask him nicely
He’ll kill you with a roar
I guess that is what happens when
There is a CIVIL WAR

Can I touch it or is it fake?
It’s such insanity
To have a concept we describe
As VIRTUAL REALITY

The dinosaurs are gone because
Of asteroidal strife
Let’s let them rest in peace and not
Declare them EXTINCT LIFE

What about the people
Who sneer at someone smugly?
And then declare to all nearby
That they are PRETTY UGLY

I thought I got the only one
When I bought my antique
But there must be another one
If it is MOST UNIQUE

You never know of other folks
So follow this advice
It isn’t clear what to expect
When someone’s AWFUL NICE

Another murky phrase out there
Ought never to be used
Because the person saying it
Is very CLEARLY CONFUSED

And tell me please if you think I
Am being too erratic
When I declare out loud that I
Am rather MILDLY ECSTATIC

Unless it is electricity
It makes no sense to me
How anyone could talk about
The CURRENT HISTORY

Museums also get to me
They really make me groan
When something there is on display
Thanks to a PERMANENT LOAN

Now, of museums, I declare
I’m at the end of my wits
How is it possible they could have
A bunch of PRIVATE EXHIBITS?

So when it comes to oxymorons
I think all these are shoo-ins
The museum has the best of all
With a collection of RESTORED RUINS

Consider someone from the town
Who quietly went away
When his friends came by to see him
He was FOUND MISSING yesterday

Some info going ‘round the town
Is very hard to quell
It is an OPEN SECRET
That you are free to tell

My TV’s tuned to CNN
I watch incessantly
So anything from yesterday
Is just OLD NEWS to me

The murkiness of messages
Cannot be very good
When it gives rise to info that
Is CLEARLY MISUNDERSTOOD

I bought some gas just yesterday
The attendant I must thank
Because she filled most expertly
My FULLY EMPTY tank

An accident at fifth and main
Involved a local teen
That is the information from
A SMALL CROWD at the scene

I had to throw away some food
A most unfortunate turn
The Frigidaire I kept it in
Produced some FREEZER BURN

I voted in the election
Expressed my political voice
Considering the selection
It was my ONLY CHOICE

In the coronavirus pandemic
There seem to be two schools
Those who don’t and those who do
Follow SOCIAL DISTANCING rules

No matter how unlikely something is
It’s open to changeability
And when that’s done, it may become
A DEFINITE POSSIBILITY

I love the oxymorons
For better or for worse
I hope you found this one to be
A SERIOUSLY FUNNY verse