In sports today, the Washington Potatoes defeated the Arizona Desert by scoring more points. The San Antonio Alamos lost a memorable game to the LA Turnpikes by being outscored. Meanwhile, the Oklahoma Wind and the Wichita Flats both scored the same number of goals, so neither team won.
In free agent news, Aaron Rogers was said to be close to signing a new contract with the Green Bay Packers who have reportedly offered the Gross National Product of Portugal, but Rogers was said to be holding out for France or Germany.
In other sports news, the calls of some referees, line judges, and umpires were called into question by fans of those respective sports yesterday. Deficiencies cited included blindness, bias, poor judgment, sucking, and mental shortcomings. Officials had no comment, as always.
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