Student Nightmares

(To the tune of “Norwegian Wood”) / Recording by David Simmons

I answered 3 ‘b’.
But then I thought.  It might be ‘c’
Or was the false true?
I can’t undo. It makes me blue

It asked me to list all the enzymes that regulate fat
As I wrote them down I discovered I didn’t know Jack

I ought to give thanks,
Scoring some points, filling in blanks
I squirmed in my seat
Feeling the heat, shuffling my feet

Professor then told me there wasn’t a chance I would pass
So I started crying and fell through a big pane of glass

I suffered no harm,
‘Cuz I awoke, to my alarm
Oh nothing compares
To deadly scares, of student nightmares

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How about these?

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(To the tune of “You’re So Vain”)

Well I raced off to my doctor
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(To the tune of “Hark the Herald”)

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Glory to the Haworth ring

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(To the tune of “Jean”)

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Deepest red I’ve ever seen

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(To the tune of “Monday, Monday”)

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Na na, na na na na

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(To the tune of “She’s Leaving Home”)

Friday evening at eight o’clock
when the shuttle stops

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(To the tune of “On Broadway”)

There are a few things you should know ‘bout Audrey
(‘bout Audrey)

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(To the tune of “Star Spangled Banner”)

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(To the tune of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”)

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(To the tune of “I Will”)

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Transcription

(To the tune of “Frosty the Snowman”)

Phos-pho-di-esters
Are the bonds of RNA

Three R’s of DNA

(To the tune of “Dream a Little Dream of Me”)

Base pairs they all provide you
Stair steps to form a helix inside you

There is a Virus on the Loose

(To the tune of Neal Gladstone’s “There is a Grapefruit In Your Life”)

There is a virus on the loose
That has sucked out all the pleasure