Student Nightmares

(To the tune of “Norwegian Wood”) / Recording by David Simmons

I answered 3 ‘b’.
But then I thought.  It might be ‘c’
Or was the false true?
I can’t undo. It makes me blue

It asked me to list all the enzymes that regulate fat
As I wrote them down I discovered I didn’t know Jack

I ought to give thanks,
Scoring some points, filling in blanks
I squirmed in my seat
Feeling the heat, shuffling my feet

Professor then told me there wasn’t a chance I would pass
So I started crying and fell through a big pane of glass

I suffered no harm,
‘Cuz I awoke, to my alarm
Oh nothing compares
To deadly scares, of student nightmares


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How about these?

Thank God There’s a Video

(To the tune of “Thank God I’m a Country Boy”)

There’s a bundle of things that a student oughta know
And Ahern’s talk isn’t really very slow

Codon Song

(To the tune of “When I’m 64”)

Building of proteins, you oughta know
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New Serine Protease

(To the tune of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”)

All serine proteases
Work almost identically

Medical Marijuana

(To the tune of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”)

Medical marijuana
Something that I just might try

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(To the tune of “Oh Little Town of Bethlehem”)

Oh little protein molecule
You’re lovely and serene

I Wanna Understand

(To the tune of “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”)

I ask why - many questions
And so I raise my hand

Oh Glaucoma!

(To the tune of “Oklahoma!”)

Oh glaucoma!
You reduce the vision of our eyes

Hark the Sucrose

(To the tune of “Hark the Herald”)

Carbohydrates all should sing
Glory to the Haworth ring

Oh Delta Gee

(To the tune of “Oh Danny Boy”)

Oh Delta Gee - the change in Gibbs free energy
Can tell us if a process will advance

Singer Song

(To the tune of “Ave Maria”)

(The words to the original song are in parentheses to help guide the singing)

Hyaluronic Acid

(To the tune of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”)

Hyaluronic acid
Acting almost magically

She Likes You

(To the tune of “She Loves You”)

She likes you meh, meh, meh
She likes you meh, meh, meh

Pay Per View

(To the tune of “Paper Moon”)

So you’re watching a pay-per-view
Lying lazily in your bed


(To the tune of “Let It Be”)

When I was walking through the forest
Grizzly bears came after me