Distance Ed

(To the tune of “Mister Ed”) / Recording by David Simmons

A course is a source, of course, of course
Of all of the knowledge that we endorse
A major force for better/worse is the campus Distance Ed

It’s true to outsource a college course
There are a few standards to be enforced
The long and short’s we reinforce the campus Distance Ed

A classroom class meets every week the same time every day
But Distance Ed is most unique – its flexible schedule’s okay

E-course is a source, of course, of course
Of online assistance for lab reports
You’re not enrolled in an online course?

Then sign up for this!

“You’ll love Distance Ed”


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Superoxide Dismutase

(To the tune of “Supercalifragilistiexpialidocious”)

When oxygen’s electrons all are in the balanced state
There’s twelve of them for oh-two. The molecule is great

Beaver Believer

(To the tune of “Daydream Believer”)

Oh I get high. Such a grin
Every time the Beavers win

Kidney Stone

(To the tune of “Take Me Home, Country Roads”)

Early morning
In the bedroom

A Gay is no Danger

(To the tune of “Away in a Manger”)

A gay is no danger
To anyone here


(To the tune of “Oklahoma!”)

The ei-co-sa-noids creating pain

I’m at the Walmart

(To the tune of “I Am the Walrus”)

It’s not free when corporate glee 
resides in me 

They Are Watching You

(To the tune of “Every Breath You Take”)

Every thing you say.
Every price you pay

Sound of Glucose

(To the tune of “A Few of My Favorite Things”)

Aldehyde sugars are always aldoses and
If there’s a ketone we call them ketoses

When Acids Get Oxidized

(To the tune of “When Johnny Comes Marching Home”)

The fatty acids carried by CoA, CoA
Are oxidized inside the mi-to-chon-dri-ay

Gay Waiter

(To the tune of “Day Tripper”)

Got a good reason
For going and eating out

The Citric Acid Cycle

(To the tune of “When Irish Eyes Are Smiling”)

The citric acid cycle
Is a source of energy

Serine Protease Song

(To the tune of “Blackbird”)

Substrate floating in the cell’s insides
Enzyme snags it with its binding site

Pay Per View

(To the tune of “Paper Moon”)

So you’re watching a pay-per-view
Lying lazily in your bed