Kidney Stone

(To the tune of “Take Me Home, Country Roads”)

Early morning
In the bedroom
Doin’ yoga
When I felt the twinge
That’s a new one
Is it some disease?
Back behind the liver
Stabbing my kidneys

Kidney stone
Makes me groan
On my knees
Then I’m prone
“Help me someone
Get a doctor”
This I moan
Kidney stone

At the clinic
Think I’m dying
Forms are filled out
Life before my eyes
Almost lose it
Saying my goodbyes
Could it just stop hurting?
What would he advise?

Kidney stone
I bemoan
That it has
Ever grown
Tiny blockage
Monster problem
From my own
Kidney stone

And then the doctor says some words
that roll off sweetly
Prescription drugs will help until this thing moves out of me
The wonderful narcotics put the pain
away ‘til it can go and pass itself urethrally, urethrally.

Kidney stone
Overgrown
Now I stand
At the throne
Hope to catch it
With a strainer
For my lone
Kidney stone