My Sweet Tooth

(To the tune of “My Sweet Lord”)
In this stream of consciousness song, the background choir’s words are in parentheses

My sweet tooth
Gettin’ use
Choc’late mousse

I’ve got diabetes
When I eat my Wheaties
I use altered sweeties
Yeah, but they’re not so good, I know

My sweet tooth
Sugary
Sugar free

Eating too much sucrose
Elevates my glucose
The artificial sweet’ner crutch
I’m afraid I use too much

(Sweetened food)
Sweet ‘n Low
(Tastes too good)
Causes woes
(Not so good)
Mm I suppose
(Guess I’m screwed)

Sucralose solution
Chlorine substitution
Chlorinated carbon rings
Top my list of scary things
Now they’re found in ev-er-y-thing

(Sugar free)
Sucralose
(Low cal’rie)
Not glucose
(Hallelujah)
Mm I suppose
(Hallelujah)

An artificial sweetener’s
(Wanna chew ya)
A table sugar cheater
(Wanna chew ya)
For sugar substitution stuff
(Ahhhhhhhhhhhh)
Just a little bit is enough

(Diet Drink)
Mmmmmmmmmmm
(Formate link)
My sweet tooth
(Makes me think)
Oh so sweet
(What I drink)
Instrumental

Hmm, so sweet
(Nutrasweet)
Oh my it’s sweet
(Sweet ‘n low)
Mmm I love the sweet
(Saccharin)
I repeat
(Splenda dreams)

Now I really want to taste it
(Wanna chew ya)
Do not want want to waste it
(Gonna do ya)
I just cannot face it now
(Ooooooohhhhhhh)
Cuz I get a buzz from sweets

(Diet Pepsi)
Noo ooooooo
(Diet Coke)
My my my coke
(Sugar free)
My sweet tooth

(Saccharides)
My sweet tooth
(Glycosides)
Oooh nooo
(Di-peptides)
Mmmmmmmmm

(Saccharin and)
(Insulin and)
(Formalin and)

(Carbo loading)
My sweet tooth
(Overflowed)
Such sweet truth
(I’ll explode)
My sweet tooth

(Sugar free)
My, my sweet tooth
(Isn’t free)
Give me truth
(Candy cane)
(It’s cocaine)
(Diet drink)
(Must rethink)

fade