Anthem for BB 3-5-0

(To the tune of “She’ll Be Comin’ Round the Mountain”) / Recording by David Simmons

Oh the students taking BB 3-5-0 – 3-5-0
Have an awful lot of things that we must know – 3-5-0
With acetic acid buffer
Kevin Ahern makes us suffer
The exams could not be tougher 3-5-0 –3-5-0

There’s amino acid side chains to recall – 3-5-0
And the things it takes to make cholesterol – 3-5-0
Anabolic catabolic
Kevin Ahern’s diabolic
I’m becoming alcoholic 3-5-0 -3-5-0

There must be a way to jam into my head – 3-5-0
All the metabolic enzyme names I dread – 3-5-0
Can you help me learn the spaces
Where the endonucleases
Cut the DNA in places 3-5-0 -3-5-0

I must find a way to make a better grade
Or my GPA will truly get waylaid
I shall overcome frustration
To achieve my aspiration
On the last examination 3-5-0, 3-5-0

Here’s the plan I made to help me to succeed
Fill the notecard with the knowledge I will need
I’ve put all of Ahern’s quotes
Along with what each one denotes
Onto a massive stack of notes for 3-5-0, 3-5-0

So there’s just one teensy problem I must fix
It requires some very skillful penman tricks
Squeezing info I must store
Onto the card he gave before
Will mean a font the size of zero point one four

Oh the students taking BB 3-5-0 – 3-5-0
Have an awful lot of things that we must know – 3-5-0
With acetic acid buffer
Kevin Ahern makes us suffer
The exams could not be tougher 3-5-0 –3-5-0

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How about these?

To Make a Cholesterol

(To the tune of “When Johnny Comes Marching Home”)

Some things that you can build with acetyl-CoAs
Are joined together partly thanks to thiolase

Distance Ed

(To the tune of “Mister Ed”)

A course is a source, of course, of course
Of all of the knowledge that we endorse

A Norwegian Would

Sven hopped in his boat
Didn’t get far. It wouldn’t float

He patched up a hole
Tried it again. Much better then

It’s a Toothache, Baby

(To the tune of “It’s Too Late”)

Chewed an ibuprofen just to kill the pain
My jaw hurts badly

Student Nightmares

(To the tune of “Norwegian Wood”)

I answered 3 ‘b’.  
But then I thought.  It might be ‘c’

Heme

(To the tune of “Jean”)

Heme, heme, colored supreme
Deepest red I’ve ever seen

Under the Rainbow

(To the tune of “Over the Rainbow”)

Sum-mer time in the valley
Cloud-y skies

Muscle Energy Song

(To the tune of “I Will”)

For running and for jumping
You need some energy

I Lost a Lung

(To the tune of “I Left My Heart in San Francisco”)

You’ve gone and left me breathless, so especially today
An absence from my body makes it hard to say