Anthem for BB 3-5-0

(To the tune of “She’ll Be Comin’ Round the Mountain”)

Oh the students taking BB 3-5-0 – 3-5-0
Have an awful lot of things that we must know – 3-5-0
With acetic acid buffer
Kevin Ahern makes us suffer
The exams could not be tougher 3-5-0 –3-5-0

There’s amino acid side chains to recall – 3-5-0
And the things it takes to make cholesterol – 3-5-0
Anabolic catabolic
Kevin Ahern’s diabolic
I’m becoming alcoholic 3-5-0 -3-5-0

There must be a way to jam into my head – 3-5-0
All the metabolic enzyme names I dread – 3-5-0
Can you help me learn the spaces
Where the endonucleases
Cut the DNA in places 3-5-0 -3-5-0

I must find a way to make a better grade
Or my GPA will truly get waylaid
I shall overcome frustration
To achieve my aspiration
On the last examination 3-5-0, 3-5-0

Here’s the plan I made to help me to succeed
Fill the notecard with the knowledge I will need
I’ve put all of Ahern’s quotes
Along with what each one denotes
Onto a massive stack of notes for 3-5-0, 3-5-0

So there’s just one teensy problem I must fix
It requires some very skillful penman tricks
Squeezing info I must store
Onto the card he gave before
Will mean a font the size of zero point one four

Oh the students taking BB 3-5-0 – 3-5-0
Have an awful lot of things that we must know – 3-5-0
With acetic acid buffer
Kevin Ahern makes us suffer
The exams could not be tougher 3-5-0 –3-5-0

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How about these?

Mother Nature’s Done

(To the tune of “Mother Nature’s Son”)

Due to all the greenhouse gas – warming’s on the rise
All day long CO2 is heating things too much up in the skies

I Should Have Studied Harder

(To the tune of “I Should Have Known Better”)

I . . . . should have studied harder when I had the chance
Instead of just drinking beer at the dance

Gaia

(To the tune of “If I Had a Hammer”)

When he bought his Hummer
He revved it in the driveway

Brain Farts Just Happen In My Head

(To the tune of “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head”)

Brain farts just happen in my head_x000B_I think it might be due to something I just said_x000B_Bi-o-che-mis-try_x000B_Gets brain farts a poppin’ in my head and they’re poppin’
So I just wiped out the teardrops from my eyes_x000B_And told my brain it had to do some men-tal exer-cise_x000B_Burn some ATP_x000B_So brain farts can stop inside my head they’ll be stoppin’

They Are Watching You

(To the tune of “Every Breath You Take”)

Every thing you say.
Every price you pay

Can’t Buy Enough

(To the tune of “Can’t Buy Me Love”)

Can’t buy enough
Can’t buy enough

Apochorus Bob

(to the tune of “Any Dream Will Do”)(Dedicated to Bob...

A Hardees Night

(To the tune of “A Hard Day’s Night”)

It is a Hardees night
And I just ate a chili dog

Composting Song

(To the tune of “Dixie”)

I am mixing up a pile of rotten
That’s how compost is begotten

Biochemistry, Biochemistry

(To the tune of “Oh Christmas Tree”)

Biochemistry Biochemistry_x000B_I wish that I were wiser_x000B_I feel I’m in way o’er my head_x000B_I need a new advisor
My courses really shouldn’t be_x000B_Such metabolic misery_x000B_Biochemistry Biochemistry_x000B_I wish that I were wiser

Catalyze

(To the tune of “The Look of Love”)

My enzymes
Truly are inclined

Thank God There’s a Video

(To the tune of “Thank God I’m a Country Boy”)

There’s a bundle of things that a student oughta know
And Ahern’s talk isn’t really very slow