Turn Off That Damn Cell Phone

(To the tune of “The Long and Winding Road”) / Recording by David Simmons

Turn off that damn cell phone
‘Cause we’re in a – quiet zone
You’ll just disturb the peace
With such a loud ringtone
So please desist and cease
Save it for your home

The last time it went off
You flailed around – in your purse
While searching for the sound
Before it got much worse
Why play this lost and found?
Spare us all the curse

Many times I’ve wondered why
That every time it rings
You act as if it’s talk or die
While dropping everything

So switch to vibrate mode
And do it now – for God’s sake
‘Cause if it blares again
I’ll throw it in the lake
Don’t make me blow my zen
Give us all a break

Instrumental

And last not least avoid
Its use on – the winding road
Your brain should be employed
En route where e’er you go
Don’t make me get annoyed
Focus on the road (yeah, yeah, yeah)

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(To the tune of “Frosty the Snowman”)

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