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She’s Staying Home

(To the tune of “She’s Leaving Home”)

Friday evening at eight o’clock
when the shuttle stops
Grabbing her luggage inside the van
Giving a tip to the driver man
She goes in, gets on the escalator
riding upstairs
Carefully lifting her carry on case
She puts it in the right place

She (stays in control of her bags)
is standing (plasters them all with name tags)
there (and shows them her brand new photo ID)
She’s standing there full of angst and despair at
the ticket gate (in line)

Lines are growing as she hands over her check-in bags
Clutching the belt of a carry-on
Staring at lines that go on and on
There’s excess goo in her bag because she has got some shampoo.
More than three ounces illegally
What will they do if they see?

She (watches her bag being scanned)
is waiting (gets pulled aside by a man)
there (goes to a room down the hall with a guy)
She’s left the line for some one-on-one time with
the man in black (bye bye)

Friday evening at midnight she is still out of sight
Missing the boarding hubbub for the plane
Meeting a man from the TSA

She’s (thinking of fun she’d have had)
not having (it makes her feel really bad)
fun (promises never to get on a flight)
She’s changed her mood ‘cause her travel is screwed by security
She’s staying home (tonight)

She’s joined the no-fly zone
She joined the no-fly zone

Category:

Lyrics Non-Science

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