(Give Us) Real Things

(To the tune of “Coke®. It’s the Real Thing”) / Recording by David Simmons

I’d like to teach my students ‘bout
some biochemistry
To keep them all from drinking Coke
and make them trans fat free

There’d be no taking creatine
to help them run so fast
And Sucralose and Nutrasweet
would be things of the past

I’d lower fructose levels in
the junk that people eat
And salmon farmed, then colored up
I’d work hard to defeat

Organic food is good for you
everybody knows
So let’s get rid of factory farms
and all the GMOs

Give us real things
Some for you, some for me
Biochem’s good you see
Give us real things


More Lyrics


When you’re in a funkAnd really craving some junkYou...

Let It Shine

(to the tune of “Let It Snow”) Oh the weather outside...

Wet Christmas

(to the tune of “White Christmas”) I’m screaming ‘bout a...


(To the tune of “Help!”) Yelp! I’m feeling lonely Yelp!...


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

How about these?


(To the tune of “If I Had a Hammer”)

When he bought his Hummer
He revved it in the driveway

New Teacher Song

(To the tune of “Battle Hymn of the Republic”)

The wisdom we have brought today’s a song that is our first
Please forgive us if it’s rough because it’s really unrehearsed

I’ve Just Changed my Face

(To the tune of “I’ve Just Seen a Face”)

I’ve just changed my face
I didn’t like the shape or place-

When Acids Are Synthesized

(To the tune of “When Johnny Comes Marching Home”)

The 16 carbon fatty acid, palmitate
Gets all the carbons that it needs from acetate

Ointment Song

(To the tune of “My Valentine”)

I went outside
To have a smoke

Distance Ed

(To the tune of “Mister Ed”)

A course is a source, of course, of course
Of all of the knowledge that we endorse

Brain Farts Just Happen In My Head

(To the tune of “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head”)

Brain farts just happen in my head_x000B_I think it might be due to something I just said_x000B_Bi-o-che-mis-try_x000B_Gets brain farts a poppin’ in my head and they’re poppin’
So I just wiped out the teardrops from my eyes_x000B_And told my brain it had to do some men-tal exer-cise_x000B_Burn some ATP_x000B_So brain farts can stop inside my head they’ll be stoppin’

New Serine Protease

(To the tune of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”)

All serine proteases
Work almost identically

I Should Have Studied Harder

(To the tune of “I Should Have Known Better”)

I . . . . should have studied harder when I had the chance
Instead of just drinking beer at the dance

The Light of Darkness

(To the tune of “The Sound of Silence”)

Hello darkness my old friend
Standard time is back again

Hyaluronic Acid

(To the tune of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”)

Hyaluronic acid
Acting almost magically

The Way They Work

(To the tune of “The Way We Were”)

Mighty powerhouse peptides