If You Drive a Monster Car

(To the tune of “When You Wish Upon a Star”)

If you drive a monster car
Going near or going far
Here’s a thing to think about
When you commute

You’re releasing greenhouse gas
Spewing out your Hummer’s ass
Everyone is noticing
That you pollute

Coming from S-U-Vs
Is like a bad disease
For earthly breathing

So stop making all that fuss
Come sit down and let’s discuss
When you’re gonna go and get
A new Pri-us


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How about these?

New Teacher Song

(To the tune of “Battle Hymn of the Republic”)

The wisdom we have brought today’s a song that is our first
Please forgive us if it’s rough because it’s really unrehearsed

Sad Story of Thad

(To the tune of “Theme Song from The Beverly Hillbillies”)

You’ve gotta hear the story of the Inuit named Thad
A boat and a gun were the only things he had

Your Poor Veins

(To the tune of “You’re So Vain”)

Well I raced off to my doctor
Cause I was feelin’ the twinges of pain

Let It Shine

(to the tune of “Let It Snow”)

Oh the weather outside looks better
You can put away your sweater
And the sun is all bright and fine
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine

When Acids Are Synthesized

(To the tune of “When Johnny Comes Marching Home”)

The 16 carbon fatty acid, palmitate
Gets all the carbons that it needs from acetate

A Norwegian Would

Sven hopped in his boat
Didn’t get far. It wouldn’t float

He patched up a hole
Tried it again. Much better then

Dieter’s Song

(To the tune of “*The Story of Love”)

You better lose your middle
Run a little


(To the tune of “Ticket to Ride”)

Tonight I’m feeling quite glad
Because I can say (yeah)

Happy Days are Here for All

(To the tune of “Happy Days Are Here Again”)

Happy days are here for all
Thank the SCOTUS five for standing tall

Mellow Woes of Testing

(To the tune of “Yellow Rose of Texas”)

The term is almost at an end
Ten weeks since it began

She’s Staying Home

(To the tune of “She’s Leaving Home”)

Friday evening at eight o’clock
when the shuttle stops

Trader Joe’s Tonight

(To the tune of “Strangers in the Night”)

(Published in the MockingOwl Roost -

Oh Little Protein Molecule

(To the tune of “Oh Little Town of Bethlehem”)

Oh little protein molecule
You’re lovely and serene