There is a Virus on the Loose

(To the tune of Neal Gladstone’s “There is a Grapefruit In Your Life”)

There is a virus on the loose
That has sucked out all the pleasure
It’s the worst thing we have seen
Making for a quarantine
And the Charmin’s running low

Off you go into a store
On a quest for toilet paper
But there’s none upon its shelves
From restocking elves
Oh so now what will you use?
There’s a virus on the loose

When there’s a virus right nearby
You must avoid a bad infection
So a mask is put in place
A bra for your face
And your breath stinks up your nose

Here’s the new reality
If you are a non-essential
Working from your living room
In pajamas using Zoom
Making sure to close your fly
There’s a virus right nearby

I can’t wait til it is over
I’ll need a vacation
Subsidize the Nobel prize
For an inoculation

When there’s a virus near your mouth
You will not know of its presence
That is why it is the case
You should never touch your face
Not a finger not a thumb

And you’ll be much better for it
You’ll survive, congratulations
Just be careful where you eat
Stay apart at least six feet
And, dear God, avoid the south
There’s a virus near your mouth


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